Cancer Sucks

Last night I was informed that a wonderful soul was lost to cancer.  I didn't know Raine very well, but the few times I did hang out with her, I felt like I had known her for years.  I remember the first time I had met her.  I was in search of an apartment...I was in a bad family situation, and I needed to leave pronto.  I went to several places, and they all wanted a deposit before they would save me a place.  Not Raine.  She didn't ask too many questions, but she understood that I needed a place to live on my own.  I didn't have any money, but that didn't matter to her.  She saved my apartment for me until the 1st of the month, when I would be able to pay the rent and deposit.  No one else would be shown the place, she said.  That was awesome of her to do.  Not very many apartment managers would do that, but she did.  She left that job and I didn't see her again for a couple of years.  Turns out, we both knew our friends Richard and Tipton.  I would see her at their house from time to time, and it was obvious that she was pretty sick by then, and it was also obvious that she was in so much pain, but she was still happy.  Always had a smile on her face.  Most people would have already felt sorry for themselves and cut themselves off from the world, but not Raine.  She seemed to live life to the fullest, and never let anything get her down.  She has inspired me to fight harder in my own cancer battle.  I'm not gonna let cancer take away my spirit.  She didn't.
*kathy*

What I'm Thankful for

What I am thankful for this year:

1)  my family
2)  my friends (especially Ashley, Linda, Melanie, and Christa)
3)  my "babies"  (Natalia, Isabel, Sophia, Adrian, Sebastian...)
4)  my job (and the awesome benefits that come with it)
5)  my co-workers (who were there for me when I needed it)
6)  Dr. Winfrey
7)  Dr. Moxley and her staff at the Stephenson Cancer Center
8)  my fellow "peach sisters" on Facebook ("My Fight Against Uterine Cancer")
9)  God (for working through my wonderful doctors)
10)  my dear friend Susan ( she has been so wonderful to me!)
11)  the American Cancer Society and relay for life ( for making strides in the fight against cancer)

Two Months/Regular Duty

Today marks exactly two months since my radical hysterectomy.  There are days that it feels like it happened so long ago, but there are days where it feels like it happened yesterday.  I suppose it's always gonna be like that.  Dr. Moxley tells me that it's gonna be about a year or so before I feel somewhat normal again, at least physically.  Emotionally, it'll probably take years to recover.  I'll have my good days and I'll have my bad days.  Just gotta learn to take them as they come.  :-)

Today's also the day that I finally return to regular duty.  I had returned to work three weeks ago, but I had come back on light duty--it was the way Dr. Moxley would allow me to come back early.  Being on light duty wasn't too bad...but it did suck that I couldn't help my fellow co-workers whenever they needed it.  :-/  now, I can help whenever the need arises.  But I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about working with patients again.  So much has changed in the time I've been away.  I also don't want a patient to get upset and kick me in the stomach, especially since I'm still sensitive in that area.  I still find it difficult to lift heavy things.  But I gotta deal with things as they come.  Besides, I've got good co-workers that will always have my back.

*kathy*

Picture of Health

Went to see Dr. Moxley again today.  The visit went extremely well.  She says that the cancer is still gone, and I'm still healthy!!  Yes!  I am super duper excited about this news.  Only a cancer patient can truly understand how nerve-wracking these checkups can be.  Last night I could not sleep very well because I was so worked up about what I thought Dr. Moxley would tell me.  But everything turned out okay, so I had nothing to worry about.  :-)  she did tell me that it would probably take about a year before I'm completely normal again.  That seems like a long time.  :-/  but it's been 2 months already, so I guess time flies by!!  I just gotta take it easy and not overexert myself too much.  But it feels nice, bc she gave me the clearance to return to work at full duty...and I get to throw away my trash now!!  I know, I know...seems like a minor task, but after what I've been through, this is big.  :-)  it's the small things in life, I suppose.  My next visit is February 14, 2013.  Hmm...Valentine's Day...  ;-)
*kathy*

Why I Relay

Why I Relay

I've always been a big supporter of anything related to cancer survival and research. I only had an uncle who died from cancer, but I was only 8 years old, so I don't really remember him all that much. My friend Susan was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, and after going through grueling treatments, she's in remission. Good news, indeed. But I never thought that my experience with cancer would go beyond that. But life had other plans.

I was diagnosed with uterine (or more commonly called endometrial) cancer in August 2012. I was stunned to say the least. I had been having excessive vaginal bleeding, which led to a pelvic exam, Pap smear, and biopsy. It was during these routine examinations that the cancer was found. I simply cannot stress enough the importance of these yearly exams. Too often, women go years without these simple (but lifesaving) tests. The discomfort is not fun to experience, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.

I had a radical hysterectomy in September 2012, and my wonderful oncologist explained that my cancer was found at Stage 1A, Grade 2, one of the earliest stages. I did not have to do any chemotherapy or radiation, praise the good Lord, but I did lose some hair. So I went ahead and chopped the rest of it off. A bit drastic, I know. But it serves as a reminder of what I've gone through. Dr. Moxley says I will have to be monitored closely for the next 5 years, but I have only a 3% chance of recurrence. I think I can cope with those odds. :-)

It is my sincere hope that one day this type of cancer, as well as all types of cancer, will be eradicated. If we pull together and support the American Cancer Society and many other organizations like it, cancer will one day be history. :-)

*Kathy*
survivor, endometrial adenocarcinoma

Feeling Blue

It's been one of those days for me emotionally.  I found out a friend of mine was pregnant.  While I'm happy for her, it's been hard for me accept.  Every time I hear the news of a new pregnancy, it's like I've been stabbed.  It hurts that bad. 

It's painful to me because I know I'll never get to share that type of news with anyone.  I know that I should be giving thanks that my cancer was caught early, and I'm now in remission.  And I am.  But this was the price I had to pay to be healthy.  I don't know why I had the misfortune of being diagnosed with a cancer that usually strikes women in their 50's and 60's.  I wanted kids, dammit.  My own kids, not someone else.  What I would give to experience what some of my friends go through, both the good and the bad.  I suppose that one day I'll be able to cope with what I've been given, but right now, I'm totally not feeling it.

*kathy*

Returning to Work

I can't believe it's been one week since I was able to return to work.  I spent six weeks at home recovering from the hysterectomy, and I was going stir-crazy!  :-(  so imagine my excitement when I was given the green light to return to duty.  OK, so Dr. Moxley said I could only return to work if it was on light duty.  But hey, light duty is better than no duty, is it not?  I can agree with those conditions.  Those that haven't gone through what I went through couldn't possibly begin to know what I felt like during that time off.  But anyway...

My first day back was a little unnerving.  I didn't know what to expect, how people were going to react.  So many things had changed in the time I was gone, so it was going to be like starting a new job.  But people were mostly accommodating.  I had a few naysayers that I don't think were happy with my return, but I say screw them.  They don't mean anything to me, anyhow.  The people who mattered to me were the ones I was interested in...no one else mattered.

My true friends at work gave me hugs and congratulated me on being able to come back early.  It's not been easy since last Monday.  The walk to and from the unit each day kills me, energy-wise.  But the awesome thing is that when I leave at night, I always seem to have someone walking with me.  I never walk out alone.  That's cool, too.  :-)  So, for all the haters I have, I have so many more people supporting me.  That's what matters.

*kathy*