Sometimes I wonder if it was worth having a hysterectomy last September. I seem to have a lot of problems with my right hip whenever the weather changes. :-/ (I guess that's what happens when you fall off the bed two weeks after the bed!) There are a lot of things I can't eat anymore because it'll mess up my stomach. And the stuff I can tolerate isn't diabetic friendly. So there's a fine line between what tastes good and what I'm supposed to have. And it bothers me that I can't have kids. Ever. A lot of times, I feel like I got robbed of that opportunity. I hear some friends talk about their kids and getting pregnant. Yes, I am indeed happy for them and rejoice in their news. But deep down, I feel like I have failed somehow because I haven't blessed the world with children. Yeah, the cancer is gone, but look at the extremely heavy price I have had to pay because of it. I wish sometimes that I could have done chemotherapy and radiation to fight the cancer, as opposed to having the surgery. That way, the possibility of having kids one day remained available. But I suppose that things happened this way for a reason. It might take some time for me to realize what that reason is, but it'll come eventually.
*kathy*
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