Sunday, September 30, 2012

Feeling Incomplete

It's been said that after a woman has a hysterectomy, she doesn't feel complete, that no one will want her.  I always thought this was an exaggeration, but after my ordeal, I have found that it wasn't one after all.  :-(  I always had hope that I would settle down and have kids (not necessarily getting married, mind you).  I even had names picked out if I ever got lucky and became pregnant.  But when my oncologist told me that I would need a radical hysterectomy (even the ovaries couldn't be saved), I cried.  I truly cried.  I felt like my one chance at happiness was gone in that one moment.  :-(  Most guys my age want to settle down and have a child or two.  And I can't give him that.  There's really nothing I can offer.  :-/  Honestly, who would want to be with someone who can't produce?  The questions about "when are you two gonna have a baby?" are bound to annoy him sooner or later, and I'm sure it would drive a wedge between us.  And adoption is a no-go.  It's not the same, I don't care what anyone says.  It's just not.  :-(  I feel broken inside, and no one can put me back together.  And that's just too bad.

*kathy*

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